When establishing any kind of routine with chores, tidying, meal cleanup, or anything else, begin with the assumption that the children do not know how to properly complete the task. When I first started these systems, one of my biggest failings was that I would simply state the command, and then go on with the myriad of jobs that I wanted to complete. I would later become frustrated to learn that the job was poorly done, but this was my own fault because I had failed to teach them how to do what I had requested.

When you are training your children in a task, set aside time so that you are not busy working on other things. If you are scrubbing the bathroom floor while your child is attempting to clean a toilet, you are not available to show them if they are missing a step or doing it incorrectly. Setting aside this time can be difficult for many of us, who feel a sense of guilt if we observe someone else working while we are not; we feel as though we are being lazy or wasting time. I can not emphasize this enough: During the training process, it is perfectly okay to watch your child work, without physically working yourself. This is NOT laziness! This is training, and it is worth your full attention. Take comfort in knowing that when this relatively short training period has passed, you will have many, many opportunities to work alongside your children, and you will be rewarded with the knowledge that they will know how to do their jobs well.

Now I know this may be easier said than done, but let me share an example. When my children were being trained for their mealtime clean-up jobs, I brought my oldest daughter to the kitchen table and demonstrated how to wipe it clean. While I worked, I explained that the first time I wipe the table, I'm just trying to get all the crumbs and “big stuff” off. I pointed out how I cupped my hand to the side, to make sure I pulled all the crumbs with me. I showed her how to catch the crumbs with my other hand as I dropped them off of the edge of the table, and then threw the crumbs away. I showed her how to rinse the cloth and wring out the excess water, and I explained that we need to use rather hot water for cleaning the table. I brought her back to the table and explained that I wipe the table a second time to rub out any spills or stains and give it a good cleaning. I demonstrated how to rub the table a bit harder the second time, with a flat hand, now that all the crumbs were gone. Then I rinsed and wrung out the cloth again.

For the next meal, I let my daughter do the table wiping, but I stayed with her and explained the whole process again. The next session, I stayed with her and offered assistance only if she made a mistake. After a few observation sessions, I felt comfortable that my daughter could do the job well, and I no longer supervised her. That short period of training took a good bit of my time, but I am rewarded with the knowledge that while I am performing other kitchen tasks, my daughter will do a great job of taking care of the table!

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