At one time, I was reluctant to ask my children to help out with chores around the house. One reason was that I felt it was simply easier to do it myself, than to take the time to teach them. I reasoned that I would have to stay with them the whole time they completed a task, missing out on valuable time to complete other tasks, and then I would probably have to re-do it all anyhow.
Another reason I was reluctant to enlist help from my children was a feeling of guilt. These were my responsibilities, and the children might feel as though they were being treated unfairly, doing “all Mom’s work!” Besides that, children needed ample free time… childhood is only a short time in their lives, after all!
I have come to realize that delegating certain household tasks to my children is not only “okay;” it is beneficial to everyone in our family. Let me list a few of the benefits:
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I have been given some much-needed help from my children
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The children have a sense of being useful helpers in the home, a wonderful feeling
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The children are being prepared for their future home lives by learning valuable household skills
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The children have learned to appreciate the value of keeping the home nicely, because they participate in making it look that way
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Chores give the children a valuable way to spend time
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Keeping busy with purposeful activities helps children to keep out of trouble
By establishing some simple routines for housekeeping (Chores, Mealtimes, Daily Habits and Tidy Spaces, all of which you can read about in some of my other pages), you and your children will spend a relatively short amount of time on these tasks. You will all be left with more time for more important things, such as homeschooling, outings, reading together, or working on hobbies. And, your children will still have ample time to simply play!
I rarely experience a complaining attitude from any of my children about the work they do. A few tips on encouraging good attitudes:
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I do give tangible rewards sometimes, such as candy or time to watch a video, but this is considered a bonus, not a guarantee. I give relational rewards very generously though, by giving hugs, telling them how blessed I am to have such great helpers, or simply saying “Thank you!” or “Great job!” They should know how much I appreciate them!
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I am careful to make sure the tasks, and the amount of time I ask them to work, are age-appropriate. Periods of work for my young children are usually 10 to 20 minutes at a time. Occasionally they will give a good hour of work, such as when Michael has them help with outdoor work. They love to do projects with their Daddy, but even with this kind of enjoyable work, an hour is about their limit.
- Michael and I always work harder than the children do. I can imagine that children could become bitter if they felt that they were required to work hard, while Mom and Dad were lounging about. My children know that I work much more than I ask them to.
Regarding the “it’s easier to do it myself” logic, that may be true… for the moment. We must get out of that “temporal” mindset and think long-term. Remember those benefits that will result!
